There is a lot of personal information, probably too much in this post about finding out we were pregnant. It’s mostly for me, so I can come back and remember just how we reacted later on when all of this is a distant memory. If you are okay with a little TMI then keep reading, otherwise you might be more interested in pictures of the northern lights?
Shane and I had been leaving our chances of conceiving up to chance for months. We were not committed, but not not trying either. If that makes any sense. If it happens it happens we said, mischievously. It didn’t happen, but we both didn’t really let it either, we were carelessly careful. In June we were carelessly careless. At first I thought I miiiight be, then I though maybe, then I started hoping. It wasn’t, I cried. I said before I tested that I probably wasn’t, but we’ll just make sure. Even though hadn’t tried, I’d gotten use to the idea. Within a few days (minutes for me), we were committed to the idea. It was happening. I knew when to make it happen and I counted the days until I could test. I took tests early and was disappointed, but so so impatient. I already knew I was. My gums were bleeding when I brushed and flossed, they’d never done that. It was my first and only clue, but I knew. July 26th, 14 days after conception I took the test and two lines showed up. The second one was so faint it was barely visible, but it was there and it couldn’t be if I wasn’t pregnant! My heart raced, I couldn’t stop grinning. It totally surreal. All my years of wanting, all those months of waiting, it was finally here. I don’t think I’ve had a happier moment in my life. We were elated. We took a few pictures and I had to leave, only 20 minutes after finding out, for a night out with Steph, Aislinn and Erin. Worst idea, by the way. Don’t ever take a pregnancy test just before you are leaving for anywhere. Of course there was no way to keep my joy from showing and the two of them knew within minutes. There was much screaming and we just about drove off the road. It was just the reaction I hoped for.
The next morning Shane and I went to the walk-in clinic first thing to get the official YES. I peed in a cup and waited with Shane. We decided right then and there what the baby’s name would be, boy and girl. The doctor came in about five minutes later and said “the test is showing you are not pregnant”. My heart fell out. Devastation. I cried and cried. How had I been so in love, so committed to the idea already? I felt stupid and naive. I cried for over an hour, Shane had to go to sleep, he had worked a night shift. “We can try again” he said as he tried his best to comfort me. It didn’t help. I couldn’t begin to imagine another month long wait to find out. I googled ‘false negatives’, there were plenty of them. I made up my mind to check again in a few days if my lady time hadn’t arrived. I sat on the patio with a glass of iced coffee and a book and tried to forget.
The phone rang half an hour later. It was the receptionist from the clinic. “I went back in, to clean up,” she began “and I looked at the test again. There was a very faint second line, so positive! The doctor will call you later.” Of course I ran into the bedroom to wake Shane up (he hadn’t fallen asleep, he was googling ‘false negatives’ too). We were overjoyed once again. It was such a roller coaster of emotion. I was pregnant again! (Or still!!) The doctor did call later and tell me to come in later in the week to test again. It was too early for his tests to tell. From what I gather, the tests you buy at the store (especially the more expensive ones) are able to detect lower hCG (pregnancy hormones) levels then the cheap kind they buy in bulk at the doctors office. I blindly assumed that the doctor would have the better technology, the better product on hand. I was wrong. Later in the week I did go again to have it confirmed and it took only seconds.
Two weeks later we found out our moving/employment plans had changed. Our life was in an uproar. I finished work at Menno, I packed our place as we made decisions about moving. Shane started his new job two weeks later (and packed the truck and drove it up). Through all this there was morning sickness. Such sickness. Luckily our place was very small, so I could pack in spurts when I felt well enough. Cooking stopped due to moving and pregnancy, I subsisted on carbs, but it was fine.
Before we left we told a few people. Those closest to us would have known in a second if we’d tried to hide it, so instead we made it an event. We brought a birthday cake for Shane’s Mom to lunch at a restaurant. We had it decorated with the words “Happy Birthday Oma!” Our server brought it out before our meal with a candle on it and we sang happy birthday to her…sort of. There was a lot of laughing and jaws on the floor, which made it hard to sing. Of course they were thrilled. We owed my mom a bottle of wine for taking care of our dog while we were away for a few days. So I called up a lady in Langley who did inscriptions on glass and had her make up a wine glass that read “Grandma’s Favourite Drink”. We wrapped it nicely and gave it to her with the bottle of wine as an extra thank you. There is a video of her reaction somewhere! Everyone was thrilled, just like us.
Eventually we got moved and settled in. We had our first doctors appt at 9 1/2 weeks. Since then there has been needles, pap smears, ultrasounds and much discussing of family history. I’m starting to feel a bit better, exercising more and trying to eat more veggies. We’re getting there and this baby is starting to grow! I guess it’s not a secret that we’ve picked baby names, and I’ll totally tell you if you ask, but I don’t think I’ll write them here until we know our baby’s gender (November!!). They both start with the letter H, so we call the baby Baby H. Only 190 more days to go!!