Hi Guys, sorry about the blurry pictures. I am having ongoing camera drama as always. Today was an especially bad today for it. Oh well. This picture was actually taken a day early because on Saturday (regular picture day) we are going to FSJ all day! (Well you can’t go for anything less then all day really.) Also, I’m always desperate for these photo sessions to be over, so I didn’t care that they were blurry. I’ve always had body image issues, always thought I was fat. No. mater. what. I knew getting bigger would be hard and I’ve tried to be positive. Every time I see myself I have to say “that is a baby, you are not that fat.” But it’s so hard, because right now it just looks like I ate 3 large pizzas. I’ve never been so heavy in my life. I have to fight myself to not suck my stomach in for these, it’s an automatic response to lifting up my shirt. So I’ve told Shane to take pictures of my face with my body, so the baby knows what her mom looked like, not just what her stomach did. But then I cry when I see the pictures, it’s just not me. So sorry to write about this, but it’s real. It’s been in my head this entire process and it’s part of me. In a few weeks (6) this will be a real bump. A really real one and I can love it so much. Trust me! I know I’m not fat! I’m trying to not be hard on myself. Just speaking my mind.
How far along? 14 long weeks
Total weight gain: 8lbs total, I’m up one pound from last week
Baby is the size of: a lemon!
Gender Guess: Girl
Maternity clothes? Just jeans. I’m going to buy a few tops in PG
Stretch marks? Nope
Sleep: At least 8.5 hour every night, sometimes much more. Oh my life…
Best moment this week: Hearing baby’s heartbeat! We had another prenatal appointment on Wednesday and her/his heartbeat was a healthy 157 bmp!
Miss Anything? My waist?
Food cravings: Darn that McDonalds, I’m still craving some like crazy. Tomorrow we’re going to FSJ and I’m totally eating some. And pizza!
Movement: Nothing of course, but I do try to pay attention just in case.
Anything making you queasy or sick: A lot of things. Before 2pm nothing sounds good, at all. Fruit, veggies, the smell of food cooking. I made chili in the crockpot at 8am the other day and had all the door and windows open and the stove fan on to try and mitigate the smells. It was horrid. All I want to eat is toast with butter. It makes my stomach feel so much better. Cheese and crackers does the same thing.
Symptoms: So many: nausea, backaches, I had so many pimples this week! (thankfully they’ve all gone but ew!) fatigue, shortness of breath and thirst. Basically nothing has changed and I still feel like crap.
Looking forward to: Feeling better. Anytime body, anytime. I’ve been trying to wean myself off crackers in the morning before I get up (and in the middle of the night), but I’ve been so nauseous that it’s not been working.
Items Purchased: Nothing.
Hormone-Induced Titty Tantrums: My phone died this week (I didn’t freak out about that), two days later Shane suggested borrowing another phone and waiting a bit to get new ones and I might have blown a gasket. It was resolved quickly (we ordered new phones), but the isolation of not being able to talk to my family when I wanted was too much. They should be here in a week!
Workouts: I did 5 long walks this week (over an hour each time)
Number of Weird Dreams: A few less than last week. I had a dream that I was laying huge eggs and then announcing whether they were boys or girls.