Here’s what I’ve been wanting to tell you all week: I’M SO OVER IT. Actually, I’m a little annoyed that I’m still pregnant. I don’t know why I figured or even hoped I’d deliver before my due date. 50% of women go over, and of course it is way too much to ask that I be one of the lucky 50% that don’t. So here I am, almost constantly nauseous, extremely tired and in far too much pain than a person should be allowed to stand without permission to take pain medication. HEY BABY! IF YOU NEED MORE ROOM THEN JUST COME OUT, YOU’VE GOT THE WHOLE WORLD TO KICK OUT HERE! Plus, we’d both feel better if your head wasn’t grinding into my pelvis constantly. Do your pain receptors just not work?
I totally realize how “lucky” I am to have a full term healthy baby. I wouldn’t want anything else, but I feel like now is a great time to GET OUT. I’ve been patient enough. Love you.
I’m really lucky that I’ve got all my sisters here this weekend, and my mom and Shane to keep me distracted. I keep hoping that by not paying any attention to my body maybe it’ll just happen. You know? I’m treating it like my dog, just ignore it until it behaves. Then praise it. I can’t wait until my belly shrinks (even if I look six months pregnant after she comes), I have two brand new t-shirt in my hospital bag to wear afterwards, which will double my current wardrobe!
I couldn’t imagine feeling this way earlier in my pregnancy. I read that this would happen, that I’d get sick of being this pregnant, but I was like “paaashawww, not me.” Well here I am, and while I feel terrible about feeling this way and being this impatient, I can’t help it! I keep hearing “you’ll miss it as soon as it’s over”, and while I totally believe that, it doesn’t seem to change how I feel right now. I want to start feeling better and more like myself and I’m daunted by the very long road I have to take to get there. The road I haven’t even started to go down. Look at that cute picture of me over on the right hand side of the page. Doesn’t that girl actually look happy? She’s wearing almost 50 pounds less than me, her fingers don’t look like sausages and she’s enjoying the most delicious pina colada that was ever made. I miss her.
Up until about four days ago I loved looking at pictures of people’s newborns. Now I am irritated by it. WHY IS EVERYONE’S BABY HERE EXCEPT MINE???
Right now I never want to think about being pregnant again. I just want her to come. I want to know her, and love her, and spoil her. I can’t even imagine being 40 weeks with another baby. This morning I woke up and the first thing that popped into my head was an image of a two year old with her arms and legs spread out, sleeping soundly between Shane and I. My heart swelled with that thought (though I’m pretty sure my impatient grew as well.) I swear, no more pregnancy for a long time! (she says now)
I was hoping she would be super punctual, like her mom. Actually, her mom tends to be quite early for everything, but I wasn’t being choosy. Unless she also happens to be super fast it doesn’t appear she’s going to be on time. Maybe tomorrrow??
Sorry for all the randomness in this post. I can’t come up with anything better.